That title is a quote from an incredible woman - my mother, Myst DeVana.
It doesn't mean you shouldn't care about the person you're in the relationship with. It might hurt to walk away, but you have to have that ability. You have to have faith, that you'll be able to carry on without them, that you can depend on yourself. For example, my current boyfriend - no, I wouldn't want to end that relationship. It's wonderful. But, if I had to, I would. And I would survive the process, because I am strong in myself and I know that I could go on.
I think the worst way to begin any relationship is to need it. Love does not come to the needy. Love comes to those who have found love in themselves, and are ready to share it with others. If there is anything I believe, it's this: you cannot love anyone else if you don't love yourself.
Here I am, in one of the greatest relationships I've ever had. It's completely different than what I'm used to; it's romantic, my decisions are respected, I have freedom, there is not only mutual respect but we click on an intellectual level. It's a far cry from the shallow, sex-based relationships of my peers. I actually know who it is I'm kissing - not only his name, but his personality, his interests, his opinions.
So what's different, this time around? None of the other romantic relationships I've been in were like this. The difference was that I wasn't looking for just any relationship. I was content with my single lifestyle, but just happened to stumble into a person I clicked with really well. There wasn't any rush, there was no desperation. We were both happy to be friends, and pleasantly surprised when things went to the next level.
Funny, how the best things come when you aren't looking for them. A watched pot never boils, and relationships are harder to find when you're really looking.
My advice, to all you ladies and gentlemen who desperately want to meet that perfect match?
Spend some time pampering yourself. Hang out with your friends. Get new hobbies. Learn to love yourself. Soon enough, someone will come along - someone better than you ever dreamed of. Someone who will love your individuality, who will want to hold your hand every second of every day and kiss you in front of their friends.
Nothing is more sexy then self-confidence. If you believe you're hot, then dayum, you're smokin'. If you believe you're a catch, then someone is going to be convinced. If you believe you can do anything, well, there isn't much you can't do. Life is only as good as you think it is. There are people in terrible situations who wake up every morning with a smile on their face, and people who cry themselves to sleep in luxurious beds in mansions, surrounded by people who care about them. It's all a matter of a perspective.
Think about that really ugly girl you know who always has a boyfriend. You know one - everyone knows one. How do they do it? Obviously, they believe in themselves. They believe in their ability to catch whatever boy they chose - and it happens.
Maybe it's arrogant, to believe you can do whatever you want, have whoever you want. My opinion? Oh-fucking-well. I am arrogant. I am arrogant and I have a huge ego. And I do whatever I want, I get whatever I want, whoever I want. I still have to work for it, of course, but the end result is that my life is pretty much perfect.
Don't mind all this bragging. I mean it as encouragement - here's my secret to success, please become successful. The only thing better than being happy is sharing happiness with others.